Pi-Ka-Pi-Pa-Pi-ka-Pi-Pi Do-Re-Squirtle-Char-La-Ti-Bulbasaur!

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Maple
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Pi-Ka-Pi-Pa-Pi-ka-Pi-Pi Do-Re-Squirtle-Char-La-Ti-Bulbasaur!

Post by Maple »

Me: LOLZ! L()LZ! I FOOLED U I FOOLED U! LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH!
Pikachu: Pika pi! (that is mean!)
Me: Rule number one: Laugh when u fool someone!


Me: LOLZ! I FOOLED YA AGAIN! Here we gooooooooooooooo:
5 little :Pikachu:s dancing the Pokerap
One fell down and bumped his head :'(
Mumma called the :Chansey: and the :Chansey: said,
No more :Pikachu:s dancing the Pokerap
NAAH! Eh-eh.

Pikachu: *scowls* Grr.
Me: Heh...NEXT SONG!

:Houndour:: *Whistles the Funkytown music*
:Ninetales:: Uh...*raises eyebrow*
Me: Eh...NEXT SONG! *laughs nervously*
:Pikachu: Manager: This is NOT working. COMMERCIAL BREAK!
Me: *machinery whirrs down as I start singing* Ohhh.....I just lo-HEEY! NO FAIR!
Commercial: Pikachu Steaks! Yumm yummy nummy! Juicy and Meaty! Fine print: Best served baked in a frying pan.
:Pikachu:: *sweatdrop* Ehhh....
Me: GET 'IM!
:Pikachu:: *runs away* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
All except :Pikachu:: *chases* YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
:Pikachu:: *gets stuck in tree* They'll never find me here...
Me: *peek* FOUND YA!
:Pikachu:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGH!
:Mewtwo: Director: CUT!
:Bellsprout:: Cut? OKAY! *uses razorleaf*
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
*do do do dooo dooooo*
FIN
lolz. Funny, eh?

NEXT STORY!!!
Narrator: "Production Note: This Story contains life threatening situations and
:Umbreon: Director: "Action!"
Ash: "*sigh* I don't like this place. It's too hot and dry..."
:Pikachu:: "Pika pi...(Me niether)"
Misty: "And all my Pokemon are asleep from that wild Golbat."
Brock: "I think we should head west. I sense that thre's a town around there."
:Pikachu:: "Pika? (What's that?)"
Ash: "HUH?!"
:Dodrio:: "*jumps out* CRRAWKS!
:Pikachu:: "PI-KAAAH! (Oh-noeeeez!)"
:Dodrio:: "*uses Sunny Day* *Heat intesifies* GRWP!
:Pikachu:: "*flies into air and land 10 feet away* Pi-i-i-ika-a-a-a...."
Misty + Brock: "Poor Pikachu!"
:Dodrio:: "GRRRWAK! *uses Headbutt*
:Pikachu:: "*gets hit* Pik! (Oww!)
:Dodrio:: "*Sandstorm*"
:Pikachu:: "*skids through sand, weakened* Pi-ka! (Aw, CRAP!)"
Ash: PIKACHU!
:Pikachu:: "Piikaaa..."
:Dodrio:: "*Body Slam* TWWACK!"
:Pikachu:: "*barely alive* Pi-i-i-ika-a-a-a...(A-a-a-sh-h-h-h...)"
Ash: Pikachu?!
Brock: "Misty, Ash. We gotta get Pikachu to a Pokemon center. We're out of health items and the Sunny Day won't wear off until bedtime."
Ash: "I'll stay with Pikachu."
:Pikachu:: "Ash, go on without me. I'm sure that you'll find help in time. But if not, you'll lose me forever. *cough choke wheeze*"
Ash: "I can't leave you! You guys go on!"
*Misty and brock leave*
:Pikachu:: "*cough cough* Ash. They need you. Why stay here when you could use charizard to fly to a Pokemon Center?"
Ash: "Because you're also my Pikachu and you're my partner. Together, we're camoflauged targets metaphorically...Apart, we're sitting ducks."
:Pikachu:: "Listen, *cough* Ash. If you had gone with them, you could have sent out one of you're Pokemon to protect me. Why stay?"
Ash: "Because...they might faint and leave you vulerable. You need shade. Go, Bayleef!"
:Bayleef:: "Baay-LEEF! (Hi, Ash!) *grin*"
Ash: "*glares*"
:Bayleef:: "*glances at Pikachu* What the hey happened?!"
Ash: "*shakes fist* JUST GIVE PIKACHU SOME SHADE!!!"
:Bayleef:: "Okay okay! Jerk..."
:Pikachu:: "Ash. I really don't need-"
Ash: "Of course you need shade!"
Meanwhile...
Nurse Joy: "Hi guys!"
Brock + Misty: "*frantically* ASH'S PIKACHU IS DYING!!!"
Prof. Oak: "*looks like a kid dressed up like him* Hi."
All: "*faints* Oyg!"
Oak: "*glances* Was it something I said?"
All: "*run afap(as fast as possible) to Ash's location* is Pikachu okay? Did he die? Did Spearows try to eat him like vultures?"
Ash: "Quiet! He's saying something..."
:Pikachu:: "You must get me to a Pokemon center soon, I only have a weak grip on life."
Ash: "Go, CHARIZARD! Charizard, you need to fly us to Desert City!"
:Charizard:: "Poor Pikachu. *strongly and curiously* Is he dead? :-| "
All: "HEEY!"
:Ponyta:: "Hay is for horses and sometimes for cows! People don't eat it, cuz they don't know how! :mrgreen: "
:Umbreon: Director: "CUT!!! Great act! Good acting Pikachu, great! Second act coming soon! Lolz."
:Pikachu:: "*blushes* Awww, thanks!"
WIP (Work in progress)
Last edited by Maple on Wed 09 Jan, 2008 1:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
ooohhhh...aaahhhhhh...

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Post by Pikachu90000 »

Uh... no. Just doesn't work, very random and doesn't make any sense. -1/10.
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Post by Shrine Sprite »

You should use quotation marks ("") to show when a character is speaking. It'd be much easier to follow that way. ^^`

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Post by Maple »

Eh..^.^' next time I'll try that!

EDIT: Wewt! ^.^ My 100th post! I thinks.
ooohhhh...aaahhhhhh...

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Post by LordLucario123 »

Honestly, didn't make sense. It's sort of weird also. 0/10

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Post by Shrine Sprite »

Hmm... still needs work, and it look like you took my adive the wrong way.
Nurse Joy: "Hi guys!"
Brock + Misty: "*frantically* ASH'S PIKACHU IS DYING!!!"
What I actually meant by my post was that you put what characters actually say into quotation marks. And you should also avoid putting a person's actions in asterisks (*). And use more parenthesis. (())

Here's an edited version of the above part of the story with these suggestions applied:

Code: Select all

Nurse Joy: "Hi guys!" 
Brock & Misty (together, frantically): "ASH'S PIKACHU IS DYING!" 
Still, you need help with your overall grammar. I still have trouble understanding the story...

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Post by Kikyo »

Um, I'm sorry, but I can't follow it at all.
I know you probably tried hard to make it good,
and it probably is,
but I just can't figure out anything that's going on.
It all seems rushed.
Maybe you can get a teacher to look over it?
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Post by Maple »

ooookaaaayyy. Wasn't it funny that Professor Oak got turned into a kid? lolz. :mrgreen:
ooohhhh...aaahhhhhh...

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Post by LordLucario123 »

*cough* No.

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Post by Pikachu90000 »

I'd have to agree, there is absolutely nothing funny about this.
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Post by Maple »

o_O fine. ya dont hafta give me the 3rd degree or anything like that. >: (
ooohhhh...aaahhhhhh...

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Post by Pikachu90000 »

Maple wrote:o_O fine. ya dont hafta give me the 3rd degree or anything like that. >: (
What third degree?
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Post by LordLucario123 »

I think she means like burns, first degree burns, second degree burns, and third degree burns.

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Post by Maple »

No the 3rd degree the way I said it, it means:
Traitor: I didn't mean! They threatened me!
Friends: *glares* You traitor!
Traitor: Fine fine, I wanted to! Ya dont hafta give me the 3rd degree or anything. I'm sorry!

The Microsoft dictionary defines it:
hatred or ignorance
ooohhhh...aaahhhhhh...

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Re: Pi-Ka-Pi-Pa-Pi-ka-Pi-Pi Do-Re-Squirtle-Char-La-Ti-Bulbasaur!

Post by melonrime »

good effort, i guess you put some time into this but...
it was hard to follow
so i didnt get how it was funny
and i didnt understand most of it ;^;
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